


The Unofficial Rules of Mutant High

by goldkirk



Category: X Men, X-Men (Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) - Fandom, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Gen, also others but i'm too lazy to figure out who right now sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2014-12-13
Packaged: 2018-02-22 19:15:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2518802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldkirk/pseuds/goldkirk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The infamous guide for new students at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, created by the veterans who know a little about how the craziness works. This list has proved an invaluable resource over the years for many incoming students who have no idea what kind of insanity they've signed themselves up for.</p><p>(Just fyi this is somewhat UA/AU because I'm going to mix up people from the time periods for funny situations.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

1a. Never, ever shove Mr. Cassidy off of roofs or out windows unexpectedly because you want to see his sonic scream. He needs his suit to fly, you idiots. If he doesn't have it on he'll just hit the ground and you'll be paying for his hospital bills.

1b: Okay, so only when he's wearing his suit.

1c: NO.

1d: But—

1e: NO SHOVING MR. CASSIDY OUT WINDOWS. THE END.

2\. If you value your life, don't call Dr. McCoy a furball or Mr. Fuzzy.

3a. The teachers will join in if you start making fun of Magneto's fashion sense.

3b. But don't make fun of theirs. It won't end well. You will be forced to take sides and the ensuing war doesn't end for weeks.

4\. If one of the teachers is hunting another one down, DO NOT get involved. Don't help, don't hinder, don't even watch. It's safer that way. Just let the vendetta run its course and everything will work out in the end.

5\. The danger room is for training purposes only. While it has in fact been used to recreate favorite episodes of Star Trek before, this is highly frowned upon and will most likely result in the perpetrators (aka geniuses) being put on kitchen duty for a month, so turn it into a holodeck at your own risk.


	2. Chapter 2

6\. We do not speak of the zucchini incident.

7a. Logan absolutely does not play the violin. Of course he doesn't have a violin named Marguerite, that's ridiculous. And even if he did, he certainly wouldn't play it in the middle of the night in the lounge. Of course not.

7b. If you want to hear this not-violin-playing by the man who most certainly does not have a violin named Marguerite, the best spot to listen without getting caught is in the East wing's third hallway air vent by the bay window. Don't ask why.

8\. Kitty is always willing to help with pranks. But she is completely defenseless against the Professor, so don't tell her any of the plan other than what she needs to know to do.

9\. On a related note, the Professor himself is usually willing to help with pranks as well (although in more of a background manner) as long as they're harmless.

10\. Graduating seniors: class pranks are a tradition here just like everywhere else. But if we have one more typhoon, parallel universe incident, gravity reversal, or kitchen fire, you're all going to be locked in the danger room for two days on the highest difficulty and will be  _personally_ graded by the Professor himself. If you value your GPAs and your phalanges, you might want to follow the old senior prank advice of "confuse, amuse, but DON'T abuse."

11\. There is absolutely not a portal to a shifted dimension through the mirror in Everett Jacobs' room. And you are absolutely never to try to go through it. (However, if you do, make sure you bring plenty of caffiene because the people there literally stay up playing video games, reading, goofing off, and eating junk food 32/5. Their time also runs differently than ours. Only go on the weekends, and try it at your own risk. Its been three years and we STILL haven't gotten Gemma or Andrew to come back.)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of you have any ideas you want me to put in, please tell me! :)

**Author's Note:**

> This really will be updated sometimes, I promise. I won't abandon it.


End file.
